How to Delegate if You’re a Control Freak

– I want to share with you something I created with a client today that is creating himas more of a delegator.

And so before we delegate things, we think we need to do it all ourselves, and intellectually we understandthat in order to scale and to have more free timeso I could do new things, I need to delegate this stuff.

But there’s the intellectualunderstanding of it but then there’s theactual practice of it.

And in the practice you meet this feeling of wanting to maintain control of all the things that you are doing.

And so how do you meet that? How do you meet that challenge? You just feel the fear and do it anyway? Yeah, you can do thatand rip the Band-Aid off.

But one of the things thatI’m really interested in is how there’s always fear inside wisdom.

So inside this fear of losing control, there are nuggets of wisdom and value that actually would be really useful for you to slow down and look at because you could usethat in your delegation.

So let me give an example.

I have a client who just got a bunch of marketing materials created, and he’s kind of become a bottleneck because he needs to review these materials before they go out andthey start being used.

So I said do you really need to do that? Can’t somebody else do that for you? He’s like, “Oh I need to do it,” but why? Why do you need to do it? “Because it’s just notgoing to get done well “if I don’t do it myself.

” So some people would justchallenge that point.

Well, that’s your fear just delegate it.

We can get there but let’sslow down for a second.

What are you actually afraid of? What are you worried is going to happen? “Well, I’m worried they won’t make choices “that are good, that are good choices.

” Well, what is a good choice? What’s important to you aboutthese marketing materials? What is it that you really want? “Well, I want them to begood,” but more specifically? “You mean what makes agood marketing material? “Well, let me think about it.

“Well, it needs to be like this, “and I would want it to have “this kind of thing to get across, “and to have our company look this way.

” Oh so there are specificsthat matter to you beneath this conceptual ideathat I want it to be good? So you’re meeting theexperience of control that good, but actually there’s thingsthat really matter to you.

And so if you take the time to slow down and you ask yourself whydo I want to do it myself? What’s the specific thing that I value that I want to be created that I would be looking for and I would be identifying? That’s the gold at the bottom which is covered in shit, and where you’re meeting it at, the fear is the shit, the gold is the thingthat you actually value.

So beneath this control is something that’sactually important to you that you’re trying tocontrol to make sure you get, but if you slow down and you ask yourself why do I want to do this? Like what is really importantto me that comes out? And you mine through that shit, drill through that old dried up caked shit depth of fear down into, what it is that youactually specifically value, then you can actuallywrite this stuff down or you can at least know it consciously, and you can be like, you know what, I want these marketing materials to have this, this, and this, and them to look this way or the branding.

This is what’s importantto me specifically.

I can articulate it soit can be understood, that I can take that understanding about what it is that I specifically want and I can bring it up to the surface and I can then communicatethat to another human being and I can be like thisis exactly what I want, this is what I’m looking for.

So I want you to review these materials and find the content, the results of this that is this, that matches this.

And when you get that, then go and publish it and put it out into the world.

And so this is a transformation from control management to leadership, and the way that youdo that is you find out what is the thing thatyou’re trying to control for, what is the thing that reallymatters beneath the control, and then once you contact that, then bring it up to the surface, articulating it and delivering it as an instruction, asa form of leadership, and trusting that they’llbe able to get from where they are to that specific thing, which is a lot easier for people to do when you can actuallyarticulate it, right? So most people live in this place of trying to control to do it the way that they want to do it, but they’re not even conscious of what the thing that really value is, that they’re trying to control into place, they just know that ifthey do it, they’ll get it.

And so because they are conscious of it, they can articulate it in a way that other people can rise to create it.

So in order to delegate more, to become more of a delegator, you need to slow down and not just beat yourselfup for controlling, and try to feel the fear and do it anyway and lead anyway and just let people do it.

Slow down and like ask yourself what is it that matters to me? What is this control serving, besides helping me feelsafe, that’s the shit, but what’s the actual gold? Because there’s always both in it.

There’s something that matters to me that I want to be created.

And the more that you can drill down and the more specific and the more you can honor that feeling of wanting to have control in the sense of it being a way of, an unhealthy way of protectingthe things that you value, and you can drill through the unhealthy to the thing that youvalue and you can name it, and then you can bringit up to the surface and you can speak it, then you’re leading, because then you’re giving an articulation around the thing that’s really important, that’s really purposeful, that really matters to you, and you’re putting itout there in the world, and you’re letting somebody step up and to create that for you, and then you don’t need to settle for anything less than what you want because you really know what it is and you can really speak it and you also don’t needto be spending your time doing the things that should be delegated.

I hope this helps.

If you have any questions about how to do this effectively, leave a comment below, send me an email.

I’m happy to help.

Today is the perfect day foryou to create who you are.

You are loved and you are powerful.

And I am loving you simplyfor your being here.

I’ll talk to you soon.

Source: Youtube

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