3 Tips on Dealing with Difficult People | Difficult Conversations with Difficult People

29 Comments on “3 Tips on Dealing with Difficult People | Difficult Conversations with Difficult People”

1. Nobody likes a know it all. What qualifies you do give advice?

2. The worst people in the workplace are the ones that hold a grudge and refuse to move on no matter what.

3. This was very good and these are personalities that you can run into on a daily basis.So many people simply shut down, when confronted with these types of personalities. I do think that a lot of the shutting down, is really a good part of their own low self esteem. This is an excellent site and do hope it goes far and helps many people.

4. It seems as though, these are all meant for difficult people who think rationally.

5. Clever video. Michelle's approaches are mainly assertive and may work, but If you want to go beyond assertiveness with hypnotic language, see USE YOUR BRAIN TO TAME BULLIES.  These four tactics work whether a person is a tank, sniper, or gossip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUqGGJT-akQ

6. what if the difficult peron is your mother and theyre always putting you down and talking bad about you and wont accept you for who you are. Shes definitely a gossip and ignorant, not a bad person but we were never close and i feel like cutting her out of my life. Its sad but thats my situation.

7. Thanks for your response, Michele. As an English language teacher I use your video to give my students a bit of Listening Skills.  Some of them suggested that more visual/animation in the video might break the monotony, and help them to remember the 'lesson' better.  Hope you don't mind us :-)

8. To be honest, I would not associate myself with the gossip queenking because they talk behind everyone's back including yourself and manipulate situations all the time. 

   Best methodapproach to follow is to keep your mouth shut and just do your work.

9. Honestly, i´ve heard way better tips Michelle, more realistic ones. Not helpful for me at all.

10. Is your difficult person a DRAMA QUEEN or KING?!? I have another video for you: http://youtu.be/lc1q2QLyosg

11. Check out the video I made to update this video: http://youtu.be/dV7Cb2dLpzo

12. I remember reading about this in the book "Dealing with People You Can't Stand, how to bring out the  best in people at their worst" by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner. They said that the people who are being difficult because of their intent at a given time and that the original intent is positive but when it's thwarted the behavior becomes difficult. So it's not necessarily a personality type or defining of the difficult individual but more context based according to their life experiences or personality, which as human beings is multi faceted as well a nuanced. The difficult behavior is actually a "symptom" of a unhappy or negative state in which the person has not found a important social or task related criteria met and they lose their  self–possession.

13. When ever someone preaches about how to deal with difficult people, without pointing out the fact that we can all be difficult to someone at times depending on the chemistry between the people, I tend to then question if the actual person informing everyone about how to deal with difficult people is actually a difficult person.

14. So, not a bad video and some useful material here. You'll get a like click from me. However, there's some developments to be made. Here's some feedback: 

    1. You have to meet the tank with force. Talking low won't do it. I'm a tank, you start whispering to me, I'm going to move you to the side and move on. I don't have time for this shit. Be direct, be straight forward and shoot me the facts.  2. Someone in the office says, you're screwing up in front of others, deflect: "you maybe right, I've screwed up in the past. Lord knows I'm not perfect. Lets take sometime to look to at the facts and see if this holds up."…this deflects the argument in front of people, buys you time and makes the argument objective. 3. The Gossiper: Someone starts to gossip, simply state: "We all have flaws, lord knows I'm not perfect". Done. 

    Also, side note: Your Tank and Sniper are male. Your gossiper is female. Not sure if this was on purpose. 

    I'm going to rate this video: B-

    I'm going to recommend the following reading material to you: Crucial Conversations and Verbal Judo. I think implementation will help. 

15. excellent:  what you told us about connect between psychology and moral behavior 

16. she is sooo booooring, no wonder she have to do with "difficult" people all the time, isn't she?

17. It's a greaaaat video (Y) I like it soo much, but I didnt understand what these terms exactly means because I decided to use this video for group discussion and I want to be sure that I am choosing these terms correctly.. 
    Could u explain it to me, please?

18. my uncle is a tank 😛 he doesn't listen to anyone he just yells over everyone

19. You meet difficult people almost everywhere you go.

20. If you work for someone who is one of the three types of difficult people, say the Tank for example, shouldn't you avoid making such statements and just quietly listen…so that you don't get fired.  Does the fact the person is your boss, change the way you should respond.  Thanks for these tips!

21. They are not types they are behaviours.

22. Great presentation Michelle. I've got a person that's all three of your examples in one!

23. I work in a fast food restaurant (little caesers)) and I deal with tanks, snipers, atomic bombs, etc every day!!! 

24. u r awesome

25. Thank you Michelle, it really helped….

26. Wow. All of these types fit personal relations with personality disorders. They have even been called "The Tank" & The Sniper" by their brother. The "tank" in my family most likely suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. She is very sensitive, compassionate, and empathetic…but seemingly  out of nowhere, she will rage for hours. Screaming & cursing about some perceived injustice that occurred 20-30 yrs earlier. She is capable of the most severe verbal abuse that I have ever heard, then pretends it never happened. Are these "black outs" or is she too embarrassed at her behavior to admit it? The "sniper" in my family has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, & is toxic to the point of being dangerous. "Difficult" is a vast understatement. She is a sinister, vindictive demon, capable of insidious  emotional/psychological abuse & utterly incapable of empathy. I have banned any contact from her. I would appreciate more on the subject of the sniper personality. Fascinating subject matter. Understanding them better can be a literal lifesaver. Thanks!

27. I think all 3 approaches are great ways to make peace in your own sphere, but it seems like temporary selfcentered solutions, great starting points though, that can be built upon.

    The "Tank" and "Sniper" were my favorites because they were honest, I think that the "Gossip" approach could be improved by staying neutral, no matter your beliefs, but maybe not.

    If all the real asset employees (not nescessarily undifficult personalities) and especially management keeps it up, it just might make a difference in the long run.

    My experience is that a majority of silent employees aren't difficult enough to make change, meaning that they don't have the courage to say what needs to be said.

    Too man yay sayers, headnodders and sheep out there who love to pass problems over to the next in line of the circle (what comes around, goes around and around…), instead of coming up with lasting solutions.

    Making difficult personalities change by reflection is good advice, but keep it up, don't just pass it on to the next.

28. Great video! We have all 3 types in our life's.

29. I have one question: Are you serious? lol…Its your own misperceptions about who you are and about who others are that causes any / all conflict in your life. You alone are the cause of what you experience or how you experience it. You should read the books authored by Murray Oxman.

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